Random Sports

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFXpqZzFgy4

“You have the opportunity today to rip their freakin’ head off and let them bleed!”

That’s a line directly from a new, sneak peek video of Friday Night Tykes, a show about youth football debuting on the Esquire Network this month. 

My colleague Gabe Zaldivar recently wrote a rundown on Esquire’s newest series, and now we have the latest and longest sneak peak into what could certainly be one of the most controversial television shows of 2014. 

Centered around eight- and nine-year-olds playing in the “ultra-competitive” Texas Youth Football Association, the show will give viewers a look inside the no-mercy, no-excuses world of peewee pigskin.

If this sneak peak is any indication of the project’s larger scope, this show isn’t going to stir the pot in the ongoing discussion of safety in football—it’s going to blow the pot into low orbit.

Kids are crying, coaches are screaming and the youngsters are shown exchanging helmet-to-helmet shots.

It’s not a great look for some of these coaches, with one of them telling a player to “put it in [his opponent’s] helmet.” This is the same man who tells his team to make the other team cry. 

Esquire’s website describes the mindsets of the coaches and the parents, saying the adults involved often struggle to balance teaching with good parenting.

Coaches and parents offer insight into why they believe they’re teaching valuable lessons about discipline and dedication, but also grapple with serious questions about parenting, safety and at what price we’re pushing our kids to win.

In other words, all the best and the worst things you could ever hope to foster in a child are on display in Friday Night Tykes, which debuts Jan. 14 on the Esquire Network. 

No playtime. No mercy. 

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Would you like to win a prize greater than the average American salary for playing a game best known for being played on the porches of collegiate frat houses? Then the 2014 World Series of Beer Pong might be for you. 

Brought to you by the same types of innovators who bring the world the U.S. Air Guitar Championship and the World Beard & Mustache Championships, the World Series of Beer Pong has been played every year since 2006—gaining popularity along the way. Unlike your typically collegiate environment, there are structured rules that all participants must follow or risk disqualification. 

Of course, that makes sense considering there is more than $50,000 on the line. The 2013 event featured a payout of more than $65,000 in prizes and cash to the winners—and don't think that this is some flukish, one-time extravaganza. The $100,000 Masters of Beer Pong tournament already took place this year, meaning that, in theory, $165,000 in annual salary could be won as a beer pong champion.

Anyone who ever set foot on a college campus knows that you need a good partner to play a successful game of pong, so split that figure in half [does the math]. Who needs to spend eight years getting your doctorate when you can spend the same amount of time in undergrad becoming the GOAT beer pong champion?

So, I know what you're thinking: Is this on television and how can I spend my every next waking minute watching?

Unfortunately, it is not. Because, despite there being roughly 6,483 channels on your basic cable package, no one enjoys fun. If you're in the Las Vegas area, though, there are spectator seats available to watch all the action unfold. Heck, if you decide that you are the greatest beer pong player alive and want to show everyone up, there are even some side tournaments still taking entrants.

With that in mind, let's check in and give you all the information you need to know about the greatest competition in mankind history. (Until they develop the World Series of Slap Cup.) 

Event Information

When: Jan. 1-5 at varying times

Where: The Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas

Event Schedule

Event	Date	Time (PT)	Location	Rules Synopsis
East vs. West	Jan. 1	8 p.m.	Sunset Ballroom	Two-person teams; double elimination; bracket set up into East and West sides; four 32-team brackets
Singles	Jan. 2	10 a.m.	Sunset Ballroom	Men's and women's events; women's bracket holds no more than 32 participants; men's bracket holds max of 112; double-elimination format
Best of the Best	Jan. 2	10 p.m.	Sunset Ballroom	Best players from each U.S. area compete
3 vs. 3 & 3 vs. 3 Co-Ed	Jan. 3	10 a.m.	Sunset Ballroom	15 cups instead of 10; maximum of 32 teams in both; double-elimination
Co-Ed	Jan 3	10 p.m.	Sunset Ballroom	Double-elimination; 32 teams

Date	Round	Description
Jan. 2	Preliminary	Each team plays six randomly paired games
Jan. 3	Preliminary	Each team plays six randomly paired games
Jan. 4	Finals	Top third of teams advance; elimination bracket devised based on previous results.

Rules

The official rulebook for the 2014 World Series of Beer Pong—yes, there totally is one (and it's long)—can be found at the event's official website. 

Asking the Important Questions (via BPong.com)

Re: Registration

No, But Really. How Many People Actually Participate in this Thing?

Over 1,000 last year, actually. Or, as I always like to say, about 50 times the population of Picher, Oklahoma. 

A Thousand People? How Do Said People Qualify for Said Event?

Qualifiers do so by one of two ways. You can either win one of many satellite tournaments held at participating locations, or you can pay a fee to bypass the tournaments.

OK, I'm a Busy Fellow or Lady. How Much Does Telling the Satellite Tournaments to Kick Rocks Cost?

Somewhere between $450 and $900. All players must stay at the Flamingo Hotel and Casino, so those costs are factored into the registration fee. 

Oh Goodness Gracious, Do I Like a Rockefeller? Tell Me About These Satellite Tournaments.

Should you win a satellite tournament—there were 20 such events in 2013—your team gets all registration fees waived. That includes the four-night stay at the hotel. 

NICE! Can I Still Sign Up for That?

Nah. Sorry. [sad face emoji]

Re: Game Rules

Six-Cup Triangle or 10-Cup Triangle?

Ten.

Beer or Water?

Water. [double sad-face emoji]

Permission to Hit Someone With a Steel Chair If They Violate the "Elbow Rule?"

Denied. There is no "elbow rule," which states a player's elbow cannot reach over the front of the table or risk a violation. This is done so that everyone can reach across the table with impunity, making it fairer for all involved.

Oh Boy, What About Bounce Shots? Please Tell Me I Can Dikembe Mutombo Them Out of My House?

Permission also denied. Players are not allowed touching balls until they make contact with a cup or incur a penalty. Luckily, those dastardly bouncers are not awarded two cups in this format—just the one.

Re-Racks?

Allowed, with certain restrictions. The tournament's official rules go over that in detail, but suffice it to say there are no "stoplights," "sideways triangles," "diamonds" or whatever other concoctions are in your head.

Do I At Least Get Redemption?

Of course. Go here for the NFL rulebook-length explanation. 

Re: Tournament Structure

Soooo...How Does This Thing Work?

Each team plays 12 preliminary matches over the first two days of the event, and then there is a bracket-style final round.

How Do Said Preliminaries Work, Kind Sir?

Teams are randomly matched up against one another for all 12 matches. Following the conclusion of the preliminary round, the top 160 teams advance to the finals. Advancing teams are then re-ranked based first on wins and second by cup differential. The bottom 64 finalists then take on one another in a play-in contest that finalizes the field at 128.

Finals? 

Your basic double-elimination tournament, structured with eight 1-16 seeds like the NCAA tournament. Teams who survive those play one another in a double-elimination bracket again until two teams remain. Then those finalists play a best-of-three to close it out.

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Spider-Man has returned to the court, and he is livid. 

AND1 Mixtape baller Grayson “The Professor” Boucher has released the third installment of his ongoing “Spider-Man Basketball” series, and to put it plainly—things get dark. 

Titled “Symbiote Catch," the latest episode sees “Peter Parker” (played by The Professor) battle his inner demons and wrestle with the spirit-twisting symbiote that took control of him at the end of "Episode 2." 

As with the previous episodes, Spider-Man heads to the blacktop and challenges unsuspecting locals to pickup basketball. Spidey’s feints and crossovers are mind-bending, as expected, but this superhero is different:

He’s angry.

Faster, stronger and more ruthless than ever, Spider-Man dismantles the kids at the blacktop. 

He steals hats, smacks the ball off his opponents' heads and chops them down beneath the basket. Had they played by 2013 college basketball rules, Spider-Man would’ve been hit with a pair of flagrant fouls and incarcerated as a public-safety hazard.

After destroying the competition at the park, Peter Parker heads to school the next day and sees a gaggle of punks picking on a nerd.

A protractor-carrying member of the nerd culture, Parker takes pity on the geek and offers him some advice. The encounter is followed by some intense internal discourse back at the ballpark, where Parker manages to shed the symbiote.

In need of a host, the black sludge creeps onto a nearby blacktop and finds, who else, but Los Angeles Clippers guard Jamal Crawford. 

You know what this means: "Episode 4" could feature some hot Venom-on-Spider-Man action. 

We can hope, can’t we?

  

“With great basketball skill, comes great responsibility.”

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October’s Very Own is branching out into new territory this winter, according to a recent announcement made by Drake.

The Canadian rapper and OVO fashionista revealed to a crowd in Portland, Ore., on Tuesday night that he is officially teaming up with the Jordan brand to introduce his own line of shoes. 

Video of the announcement was spotted by Glenn Erby of BlackSportsOnline.com. 

Warning: Video contains naughty, NSFW Drake language.

Drake kicked off the unveiling by complaining about the weather, but once that was out of the way, the real news was delivered:

Growing up, I’m sure we all idolized this guy—he goes by the name of Michael Jordan. ... So today I came to Portland, and I officially became inducted into the Team Jordan family...I feel like I’m at home right now.

The Team Jordan Twitter account also announced Drake’s introduction to the brand, reiterating the fact that the rapper now has a home in Portland (8.5 miles away from Beaverton, Ore., where Nike’s headquarters is based).

The rapper also posted photos of what appear to be OVO-edition Jordan prototypes to his Instagram account last night. They are white, black and glittery.

Drake referred to the shoes as the “OVO Stingray 12’s Sample Pack.” 

So there you have it—Drake has new shoes coming out with one of the most respected sporting apparel companies in the nation.

He also has a “home” in Portland now, it would appear.

It's a match made in fashion heaven, truthfully. Both the rapper and the town have weird tendencies and enjoy looking back on the '90s as often as possible.

Also, Portland and Drake love putting random birds on things.

Always put a bird on it.

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His head hangs near the rim, and his bag of tricks is nearly inexhaustible.

Yep, Jared Roth isn’t too shabby for a teenage dunker.

The 6’3” baller is a new addition to Team Flight Brothers, a troop of talented dunk masters who tour the U.S. performing halftime stunt shows and shooting mind-pulping trick videos.

At 19 years old, Roth has already put together an impressive mixtape, which showcases his leaping ability and creativity at the rim. Between the legs, around the back—it doesn’t really matter. Roth will finish the dunk in a big way.

Roth is a native of Tucson, Ariz., according to Team Flight Brothers. He is currently a caretaker for his family and is working on becoming a known name in the world of professional dunking.

He’s one of the youngest members of TFB—a group that continues to push the boundaries of elevation.

Other members of Team Flight Brothers include Porter Maberry, the shortest professional dunker in the world.

Porter is 5’5”, and his dunks appear to violate the rules of physics. There is no spoon—not for Porter Maberry.

As for Roth, the ceiling on his potential looks as high as any young dunker out there, and his arsenal of dunks outshines most of the botched material we’ve seen attempted at recent NBA dunk contests.

Call me crazy, but maybe the league should let Roth into the contest. That might sting the pride enough to get some of the best dunkers off their butts to participate in the event. (I'm looking at you, LeBron.)

At the very least, having a talented teenager in the dunk contest would keep things interesting. Heck, his presence alone would probably raise the number of made dunks to a staggering 60 percent.

Join me on Twitter for more honey dippers, windmills and tomahawks.

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Another week, another tirade from the self-proclaimed cockroach of rap.

Kanye West has gone on another fashion-inspired tear, this time claiming he’s the only reason that Nike continues to sell and release vintage Air Jordan shoes. 

West’s most recent sermon took place during an interview on SiriusXM radio with Sway Calloway, host of the Sway in the Morning show. The interview was picked up by Allan Brettman of OregonLive.com.

Colloway attempted to ask questions about West’s “The Yeezus Tour,” but the hip-hop artist instead went off on a tangent about his struggles in the fashion industry and his failed collaboration with Nike. 

Skip to 14:00 mark for the fashion/Jordans conversation (Warning: Video contains NSFW language).

“It’s very difficult to get people in high-end fashion to work with people who are considered to be musicians,” West said. “If someone was a fashion designer and came to Dr. Dre, would Dr. Dre produce for them?”

West also discussed his frustration with Nike. The shoe company had allowed the rapper/producer to create his own line of “Yeezy” shoes, but according to West, wouldn’t let him push the limits of the design.

Yeah, they let me design. It’s like, yeah, they did me a favor by letting me design, but they let other people design. They let Pharrell design. They let Eminem design. I just designed the Yeezy’s. I turned up what they didn’t think I could turn up that far. And they tried to hold it back. 

West said his earlier designs (the Yeezy I and Yeezy II) were revolutionary in nature, claiming the shoes caused as much ruckus in the industry as Air Jordan’s once created.

“People hadn’t felt that feeling since the Jordans,” West said. “And by the way, the Jordan’s are only popular at this point because of two people: me and [West’s co-manager] Don C.”

West asserted that Nike only decided to re-release editions of the Air Jordans after he and Don C had been spotted rocking the kicks in public.

This wasn’t the most insane thing West uttered during the interview, however. He also said that instead of putting money into its global-education initiatives, Nike would be better off partnering up with DONDA—a company West is attempting to turn into a trillion-dollar conglomerate. 

“I am standing up and telling you I am [Andy] Warhol. I am the number one most impactful artist of our generation,” West said. “I am Shakespeare in the flesh.”

Kanye West, ladies and gentlemen—poet, fashion martyr and No. 1 reason for the popularity of Air Jordans.

Join me on Twitter for more ridiculous sports news.

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Like so many other works of genius, it started with raw emotion.

TerRio scored a bucket on his cousin's basketball goal and, feeling the moment, began to dance.

“Oooh,” cooed Maleek, recording his little cousin’s wrist-swooping routine on a camera phone. “Kill ’em!”

Six seconds later, the video ended, and Maleek uploaded it to Vine. TerRio's 16-year-old cousin had no idea that the clip would blow up into a social media phenomenon. He never dreamt his little cousin's dance would explode into a craze mimicked by millionaire athletes across the United States.

But explode it did. 

TerRio’s dance flew through social media sites, hitting the Internet's funny bone like a beefy, wrist-swinging bunker buster. Share after share, the video made its way across the Web, and soon, TerRio and Maleek were cranking out “Kill ’em” Vines on a weekly basis.

Warning: Video contains NSFW language.

Thus began the "Oooh, Kill 'em" Movement—a phenomenon that has swept over pop culture and the world of professional sports in the past five months. Athletes of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities have gotten in on the trend, mimicking TerRio's signature moves for the camera whenever they have the chance.

Tavon Austin TerRio’d on the Colts in Week 10. 

John Wall did the TerRio in a residential neighborhood.

Blake Griffin killed ‘em at a flag football game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36oSIv7nsTo

Hell, even Justin Tucker broke out the wrist-swirl after “killing” the Bengals in overtime in Week 10.

It should be noted that this is a No Judgement zone. TerRio's dance is one of the purest exercises in self-expression remaining in the world, and like the forming of snowflakes, no two athletes “Oooh, kill ‘em” the same way.

After returning a botched field goal 80 yards for a touchdown against the Seahawks, Jason McCourty went about "Oooh, killing them" softly. He strummed their pain with his hand swipes.

On the other hand you have Mychal Rivera of the Oakland Raiders, who scooped deep into that ice cream barrel when he decided to start killing them.  

There's also the Ray Rice version, a playful display that looks less like "killing 'em," and more like splashing somebody who refuses to get into the pool.

Put simply, the dance has become the celebration du jour of 2013—this season’s “Gangnam Style." It's a move for athletes looking to combine social memes with clowning on camera, and seeing guys like Ray Rice lay it down in the end zone, it’s easy to forget that it all started in Riverdale, a small town 13 miles south of Atlanta.

Even more unbelievable is the fact that TerRio didn’t even come up with the dance.

According to Foster Kamer of Complex.com, the first-grader claims he saw someone “in the neighborhood” do it first, and he took over from there.

Foster reached TerRio and Cousin Maleek over the phone for a candid (if not a bit shy) interview. The two young men spoke on their new-found fame, favorite musical artists and how TerRio—a six-year-old—single-handedly “saved Vine” with his videos (Worth a read, if you have the chance).

Part of the interview covered TerRio’s favorite athlete, LeBron James, who dropped his signature “Ooh, kill ’em” catchphrase during a recent Samsung commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1V4ShLWLKE

Indeed, TerRio has came a long way since his first video, which dropped in June. His Vines and YouTube videos have racked in views by the millions in the past five months, and TerRio has since left his home in Georgia to tour the nation, appearing at sporting events and speaking at schools.

That's correct—a chubby 6-year-old is traveling America and inspiring the masses after becoming “Internet-famous” for his dance videos. That’s the flat, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo side of the story.

Another take, however, is that TerRio is a kid with a message—a kid who's just happy to be alive at this point.

According to Ashley Montgomery of the The Miami Times, TerRio’s manager Herbert Battle recently went on the record saying that the boy suffered life-threatening health complications as an infant.

“A lot of people don’t know this, but when TerRio was just 2, he was on life support,” Battle said. “As you can see from his infectious personality, he is really just glad to be alive.”

While much of TerRio’s touring involves dancing in front of fans and cameras, his appearances at schools carry another message. TerRio urges his fellow youngsters to stay in school, telling them that although he’s on the road, he continues to be tutored and has to keep up with his studies.

So goes the life of young TerRio—the spirit guide of athletes, celebs and swag-enthusiasts everywhere. It’s a whirlwind scenario for a young man who’s still a half-decade away from puberty. Unlike so many other kids his age, however, he’s been afforded the opportunity to knock items off his young bucket list at warp speed.

He’s already hung out with his favorite athlete, LeBron James.

He's developed a handshake routine with Dwyane Wade.

Strangers have begun recognizing TerRio in public, although sometimes they get their husky, elementary school kids confused.

Warning: Video contains NSFW language.

An admitted, aspiring rapper, TerRio has also laid down his first hit single, “Ooooh Kill ’em.”

Like so many other music moguls, TerRio doesn’t even step on the track for the song, leaving the lyrical lifting to Polo, Kay Luv and Kidd Willie. 

Warning: Song contains NSFW language.

As a dance craze, "Oooh Kill 'em" came at the perfect time. In a day and age when officials have curtailed fun to an all-time low, sports needed a rotund, sashaying shot in the arm like TerRio.

NFL players can’t spin the ball “at an opponent." Defenders in college basketball can’t lay a hand on offensive players. What they can do, however, is drop that “Oooh, kill ’em." That move is still allowed, and for that much, we're grateful.

Big boy swagger is officially back (as if it ever left), with TerRio as its wrist-dropping, groin-shaking standard bearer. 

He’s the leader of a sports and cultural fad—a craze that will likely pass by the time next summer rolls around. And that’s fine.

TerRio is just a kid, and by the time this has run its course, he’s going to need a long naptime and a snack (perhaps a healthy, mixed-green salad).

Because killing ‘em works up an appetite. 

On Twitter, killing 'em when and where my schedule allows.

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There is "good analysis," and there is "great analysis." Somewhere miles above of that there is "in-depth, surgical analysis of Space Jam," which is in a stratosphere of excellence all its own.

That final level of genius has been delivered by the good people at BBall Breakdown, who aren't above breaking down an animated contest in an alternate universe. 

It all began when Coach Nick reached out to readers for suggestions regarding a retro game breakdown, presumably hoping to analyze an '80s All-Star game or a classic Celtics/Lakers clash. Instead, he received an overwhelming response from readers calling for an in-depth take on the final game in Space Jam.

The coach heeded the call and now presents us with an entertaining and detailed walkthrough of the Tune Squad’s throwdown with the Monstars.

The video was spotted by John Ferensen of Next Impulse Sports and manages to point out some of the more nuanced infractions and strategies employed by Michael Jordan and his cartoon friends on the hardwood.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the breakdown:

“Here is the Great Western Forum where the ‘Showtime’ era Lakers played. Interestingly, there is no water near the Forum.”

“I will say that putting Lola Bunny at small forward was genius.”

“And then there were the Monstars—tiny little guys who were able to inject themselves with the talents of players like Larry Johnson, Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing and...Shawn Bradley?”

“The biggest issue with this game was the reffing...primarily because they only had one, and he was a martian.”

“The game threatened to get out of hand as Yosemite Sam pulls a gun on the Monstars.”

Those are just a few of the gems laid down in this brilliant piece of analysis, which covers everything from the Tune Squad’s alleged PED usage to poor court awareness on the part of Barnyard Dog. 

If there’s one takeaway, it’s this: Never let a martian referee your ballgame.

Don’t just stand there with a bullet hole in you—hustle to the locker room. 

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Doing a backflip is cool. Being able to do one inside of an air duct is even cooler.

It’s unclear whether or not this man actually managed to set a record for lowest backflip, but it certainly looks close.

Video of the flip was spotted by Jake O’Donnell of Sports Grid, who asserts that we have no idea what is going on here, except that this young man appears to be attempting a world record for lowest backflip.

Judging from the setup, it’s definitely some sort of record attempt. This man’s buddy has a yard stick held up and photographers are on hand to record the flip. 

Doing a standing backflip is difficult, but doing one from the fetal position is a whole other beast. This man goes full Smeagol while attempting his record—curling up and heaving away. He launches, lands and appears none too pleased with his effort despite the fact he just did something completely amazing.

This guy might just be bummed, because in his heart of hearts, he knows he’ll never be able to get lower or be cooler than this backflipping monkey on stilts. 

None of us will ever come anywhere close to being as awesome as this Japanese macaque. 

But despair not, little gymnast guy. Even if you cannot get your world record, Tom Cruise will always need stunt help for Mission Impossible IX.  

Join me on Twitter for more weird sports news.

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Imagine Woodstock—with better abs.

That’s pretty much what's going on here in "Dream Big," a cheerleading mixtape put together by Cheer Sound Music that shows a veritable sea of young people having the kind of fun you and your friends should never even think of attempting.

The mixtape was first posted by BroBible.com, which accurately assessed these cheerleaders’ trick skills as "freakin’ sick."

You may be wondering exactly how this sea of shredded cheer bros and girls found one another. Spring break was crazy, but I don't remember anything half this coordinated happening in Cabo.

According to CheerSoundsMusic, the sweaty flip festival occurred after the NCA College Nationals in Daytona, Fla. Collegiate cheer teams from around the nation came to compete in Daytona's Ocean Center, and when the competition ended, the troupe gathered for this tradition called "Stunt Fest."

As you can see, things escalated quickly. Guys are side-flipping girls with one hand, throwing each other in the air and doing other stuff that just doesn't seem possible. 

Put simply, it's a giant dance-off for cheerleaders. Any flip you can do, I can do better. If one guy throws 15 rotations into his aerial routine, someone with less body fat and a better tan will do 16. You could cut the pheromones in the air at this muscle party with a spork. 

So there it is—the most coordinated and athletic beach party that ever was. Eat your heart out, CrossFit.

Sky’s out, thighs out. Am I right?

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