North Korea (National Football)

It could have been the Michigan vs Appalachian State of World Cup football.

But sadly, it wasn't.

North Korea held Brazil for the first half, conceded two goals, and managed to pull one back—but then time ran out.

But finally, our imaginations were allowed to live: Football has finally arrived.

1) Brazil

We expected Brazil to smash North Korea into the earth, and after they went 2-0 midway through the second half, the rout was on.

But in fact the nasty ghost—Brazilian defending—rose its ugly head as the 2002 World Cup winners failed to stop Ji Yun-nam, who beat four players and hammered it past the keeper.

The world held their breath, but Brazil got away with the three points.

2) Portugal - Ivory Coast

For you Twitter users, I'll sum this 0-0 draw up in 150 Characters: "What an awful game."

There you go.

Nothing else to say about this.

3) Cristiano Ronaldo

The goddawful game was highlighted by Cristiano Ronaldo's brilliant shot that hit the post early in the first half.

If there's any footballer who can keep this ball down, it's Ronaldo.

He'll be their source of inspiration this year.

4) 'Not Sacrificial' New Zealand Lambs

We were expecting New Zealand to be like their lamb: sacrificial.

But they were well-organised, battled the Slovakians, conceded a first goal and then scored a deserved equaliser in the 92nd minute, sending all those in Auckland who were actually awake to watch this into raptures.

We can only hoped some of them called their Australian 'neighbours' and said "We've got more point than you....."

5) Slovakia

Again, this is a disappointing team.

Italy and Paraguay shouldn't be worried about this team.

Even the world’s greatest side needs a right back sometimes. After 56 minutes of Brazilians going nuts in a near-freezing Johannesburg, it was left to Maicon to break North Korean hearts with a curious cross-shot which whipped in from the narrowest of angles.

He’s Brazilian. I’d never accuse him of scoring by accident. But God, how we needed that goal. No side has even been ranked as low as 105 in the world and qualified for a World Cup finals. No side has ever had so many players break down in tears during the anthems.

But those gritty Communists, in keeping with their nation, simply refused to accept the current world order (damn those imperialist capitalist running dogs). FIFA’s rankings may have five-time World Cup winners Brazil at the very top, but it didn’t look that way for an hour last night.

Not until Maicon Douglas Sisenando (born 26 July 1981 in Novo Hamburgo, Rio Grande do Sul) produced his bit of magic from right back, dashing down the line to crash his shot past a bemused goalkeeper Ri Myong-guk.

We clearly expected, like all his teammates and most spectators, a cross from that angle. Still, the BBC are calling it “a goal of great beauty.”

Much like the Ronaldinho free-kick which beat David Seaman from 150 miles out in 1998, we will give another Brazilian the benefit of the doubt.

There was no doubt about Elano’s second in the 72nd minute. The former Manchester City man, put through brilliantly by my Man of the Match Robinho, simply passed the ball beyond Myong-Guk to seal the game. Beautiful. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVRlcgFFGTY .

There was still time for Ji Yun-Nam to pull one back for the Koreans, who were over the Ban K i-moon. But despite their best efforts, and a late rasper over the bar, the world order prevailed. Shame. 

But that’s still only 23 goals in 14 games. The only shots from outside the box have been scuffed efforts which crawled through the goalkeepers arms, as England’s Robert Green and Algeria’s Fawzi Chaouchi may recall.

God, it’s been dire. Not a decent free-kick. A single memorable long shot from Cristiano Ronaldo, which hit the woodwork in the largely uneventful 0-0 draw against the Ivory Coast.

Plenty of unpunished diving, three red cards, thousands of lateral passes, dozens of over-hit crosses and corners.

Can we blame the ball? It’s called Jabulani or happiness, but it appears to cause unhappiness whenever it balloons over the bar or bobbles on surfaces which appear to cut up, particularly on the coast. And we can’t blame the altitude for the lack of thrills because tonight’s was the fourth sea-level showdown.

Showdown? Even that’s revving it up a bit. Siphiwe Tshabalala’s left footed strike, the first of the tournament for the hosts against Mexico, still ranks as the best, but you’d see a couple of them every week on Match of the Day after a Saturday’s Premier League action.

Ji-Sung Park’s effort in South Korea’s surprise win over the Greeks wasn’t bad, and there was drama in New Zealand’s last minute equalizer against Slovakia earlier in the day.

But really, with all the money they’ve spent, all the effort they’ve made, all the abuse they’ve taken, these poor Vuvuzela-blowing South Africans must wonder what they’ve done to deserve such meagre returns on the field.

Robinho’s multiple step-overs at Ellis Park hardly served to warm a near-full house at Ellis Park, where 55,000 sat through temperatures dipping below three degrees. Kaka was kak, as they might say in South Africa, frequently losing possession and ridiculing his £56m price tag.

Tomorrow we have Spain, the world’s second best side and most people’s favorites, playing anonymous Switzerland, ranked at 24, in Durban at 3pm. And the other two sides in Group G, Honduras (38) and Chile (18) play the first game at Nelspruit’s beautiful Mbobela Stadium at 12.30pm.

But perhaps we’ll have to wait until South Africa and Uruguay meet at Loftus Versfeld in Pretoria in the 7:30pm clash to see real fireworks.

There’s is the first of the second round games in the group stages. These opening games are the ones nobody wants to lose. It’s a case of throwing flamboyance to the wind, safety first.

Germany and Argentina look the strongest teams around, but these are just the first wayward shots of the war I guess. A dreadfully phoney war.

Neal Collins (nealcol on Twitter) is in South Africa to promote his World Cup novel A GAME APART. For more information www.nealcollins.co.uk .

North Korea will play for what will be one of the World Cup's most stunning victories if they win their first round match against highly favored Brazil today. Everyone loves an underdog, but should the US root for the Koreans?

The answer is simple: Absolutely. 

The important thing to remember about the World Cup, even given its extreme prestige (especially in countries that are not the USA), is that it is a sporting event. In other words, one could employ the classic phrase: "It's just a game."

Sure, using this phrase to describe the World Cup in Spain, Italy or, well, any country that is not the US would probably get you into a fight you could never hope to win.  

But the US has no reason to treat North Korea with the same hatred it displayed against the Soviet Union in the 1980 Olympics. 

Remember that classic "Miracle on Ice" hockey match between USA and the USSR?  Was that "simply sport?" Certainly not.

But this is 2010: The Cold War is over, and the US is not at war with North Korea.

If the North Koreans can pull off one of the greatest upsets in World Cup history (like they did against Italy in 1966), they will give the Americans, also underdogs in the Cup, better chances later in the tournament.

As the 1950 US soccer team (who beat England 1-0 in a shocking upset) can confirm: an upset is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Come one, come all! If you can't watch the greatest footballing country in the world perform tonight then read just how they are doing, and if North Korea can miraculously stop the green and yellow.

Portugal and the Ivory Coast played out a 0-0 draw and Brazil will most certainly take the top spot in Group G, the only question is by what margin will they gain their three points.

92: The game is over and Brazil get the win but it was in the fashion that many would have thought and it has caused more questions than answers.

90: Dunga will be happy with the win, but he will be very upset with the goal and more importantly the manner in which the goal was scored.

89: I don't believe it. North Korea have scored a goal. What a moment for North Korea and for Ji.

Brazil's defense fell apart and Ji walked in and hammered it past Cesar.

86: Juan makes a fantastic last ditch tackle to clip the ball away from the Korean forward who would have been one-on-one.

84: Brazil Sub: Ramires on in place of Melo. Nilmar takes a snap shot straight at the keeper. Both shots have been easily stopped but he looks like he could be a goal-scoring threat for Brazil.

83: Even the Brazilian defenders have flair. Lucio dragged the ball behind him with some style to get away from his marker.

82: Cesar does the first thing all second half by picking a free-kick out of the air.

Robinho wins a corner with what must be his fifth or sixth blocked shot.

79: Nilmar takes a nice long shot, which the keeper fails to deal with convincingly.

Again yet another player who can strike the ball without a problem.

77: Brazil Sub: Kaka off for Nilmar. Kaka played very average for the majority of the game but came to life a bit in the second half.

76: Brazil scored two goals that are worthy of winning the tie but questions may be put to them based on how they played during the first half.

The game has become somewhat of an exhibition for Brazil now.

75: North Korea must be applauded for how they played and how they stifled Brazil for the majority of the game. Once the first went in it was always going to start a landslide.

72: Gooooaaaaallllllll. The second was coming once the first went in. Robinho slid in a perfect through ball and Elano guided it past the Korean goalie.

Truth be told the only thing Elano has done was score the goal. He was replaced by Dani Alves after the goal

71: Brazil have started to put on a bit of a show with flicks and tricks coming out.

69: A Korean player is suffering with a severe case of cramps.

65: There are more goals in this game as Korea have started to come out and attack a little more.

63: Brazil have come into the game more and are working the ball around Korea a lot more.

60: My heart goes out to Korea who have defended for their lives but nothing could have stopped Maicon's strike.

55: What a goal!!! Real Madrid here he comes. Maicon from the tightest possible angle thumped a rocket of a shot past the goalkeeper.

Brazil's best player so far has got his reward. What a fantastic goal and finally Brazil's blushes are saved.

52: Brazil are dominating the game a lot more but are still failing in front of goal.

Robinho got a knock-down from Kaka, but again the ball goes wide. They all should aim up their shoot then think to themselves hit it three yards the other way and they may start hitting the target.

50: Kaka goes down easily on the edge of the Korea box and offers Brazil a real gift to open the scoring.

Bastos is eyeing up the shot. What a bullet, but it goes wide.

49: I am convinced that Elano is not Brazilian. He just cannot be. Neither can Lucas of Liverpool.

48: Fabiano could not control a beautiful ball over the top by Maicon. The first flash of flair from Brazil since the opening few minutes.

45: Brazil get the second half going.

Half-time: I think that Korea have defended with all their heart and might and they deserve credit, but I wonder if FIFA or UEFA will ever bring in a rule that prevents teams defending with 11 men behind the ball.

I would not be surprised if UEFA and FIFA brought in a rule that prohibited all 11 players to be in their own half at the same time.

First Half Synopsis

The game has not gone as many would have expected; anyone who took Robinho, Kaka, or Fabiano as the Golden Boot winner and hoped that they would get off to big starts against North Korea will most likely be crying after watching the first half.

North Korea deserve to go in with a point but as I said previously they will all most likely be expected to fill a cup after this game based on how well they have performed.

Brazil need to replace Silva or Melo with a more attacking, creative player.

45: Seven seconds of additional time and the first half is over. North Korea have played like warriors and are trying to outdo their Korean counterparts opening game shock.

43: The most attractive thing all game has been the Brazilian fans. The ones of female persuasion of course.

40: The North Korean team are like Energizer Bunnies, they just keep going and going.

38: Brazil starting to mount pressure again, but Korea are holding their own against the great Brazil.

36: Tae Se held off Lucio with what can only be described as a powerful Korean backside.

34: It must be mandatory that 90 percent of each country must wear the grey and orange Nike boots. Maybe the Nike boots and the Adidas ball do not compute. 

30: North Korea are defending with every single player in their half so Brazil may need to sub a defender or two for another attacking player to help their attack.

All credit goes to Korea who have stifled the Brazilians.

27: Maicon takes a long ranged effort that the keeper had to knock behind. That is him and Ronaldo who have both shown that the ball is perfectly adequate.

26: I think FIFA will drug test every Korean player after this game. They are not going along with the script at all.

23: North Korea look like a well organized and disciplined side and may cause Portugal and Ivory Coast some troubles. Brazil are not having the walk in the park as expected.

21: Fabiano and Robinho work well together but a tame effort from Robinho in the end makes for easy work for Guk in goal.

18: Go on my son. North Korea's In Guk tried to score from the halfway line. Either that or it was a very over-hit long pass.

16: Brazil are not finding this game as easy as most would have expected and they are having to defend at times. Cesar still has nothing to do but take goal kicks.

15: Lucio went into a tackle against a Korean and won the throw in, but my god he dwarfed the Korean player.

13: It is all very tight and compact in front of the Korean goal and Brazil are just lacking that killer ball.

Another two of the Koreans are wearing the yellow Brazilian-esque boots. Maybe that's Brazil's secret all along, the color yellow.

11: North Korea get their first shot on goal, but it is a tame effort in the end. Still though I would have thought that it would have taken them longer than just 10 minutes, so good for them.

09: The commentator just said that Tae Se is the Asian Wayne Rooney. Well they both have shaved heads and receding hairlines.

08: North Korea are wearing their usual red strip, which may be like waving a red flag in front of a raging bull.

06: Elano shows off some nice footwork to make space for a long range effort that just spins away from goal.

Robinho works inside and takes a shot just outside the Korean area. Again off target but Brazil are dominating.

05: Maicon looks set to play as a right winger for the game as North Korea don't seem to be moving forward with any kind of threat.

The temperature is a chilly 3 degrees, which will be quite cold for Brazil, but a pleasant warmth for the Koreans.

03: North Korea's Chon is wearing boots the exact same color as the Brazil jersey, maybe he is hoping that the color translates to his feet.

01: Brazil has their first chance with great work from Robinho, Kaka just took too long on the ball before shooting. 

00:  North Korea get the game underway and the clock is ticking until the first goal.

4 minutes until kickoff: No worries of any empty seats for this game. The majority of the crowd are yellow, and no matter where you hail from if your enjoy football you have to enjoy Brazil.

7 minutes until kickoff: Players are just coming out of the tunnel now and I bet that after this game the real footballers will have no complaints about the ball.

12 minutes until kickoff: I am really looking forward to seeing how Robinho and Kaka play. Kaka was suffering with injuries during his first year at Real and was not his usual magical self. Robinho had a less than good time at Manchester City this season but his move back to Brazil worked out for him.

Can't wait for this game to start, and with any luck there will be a barrage of goals.

Team News:

Brazil: 4-3-3

Cesar

Maicon - Lucio - Juan - Bastos

Melo - Elano - Silva

Robinho - Fabiano - Kaka

One To Watch: Luis Fabiano

North Korea: 4-3-3

Guk

Hyok - Chol Jin - Chol - Chon

In Guk - Jun Il - Nam

Yong Jo - Tae Se - Yong Hak

One To Watch: Yong Jo

18 minutes until kickoff: North Korea's manager Kim Jong-Hun has said his side will come out and "target all three points." It's good to see outrageous optimism is still alive and well.

38 minutes until kickoff: After Germany's convincing win everyone is eager to see how Brazil will open their tournament. The best chance for Korea to save face is to just get as many players sent off as quickly as possible to forfeit the game.

Prediction

I don't need to tell you who I expect to win. North Korea will walk away with this one. If only says every North Korea supporter.

Brazil should win this game more than convincingly and they should have to use both hands to count the number of goals they score. If North Korea are really unlucky then they may have to use both hands and a foot to count the number of goals they concede.

Ivory Coast vs Portugal

Ivory Coast has had some fantastic news in the form of Drogba’s possible early return from injury. Although it isn’t as if they’re short of talent going forward, Kalou and Dindane are both highly experienced in their respective top flights. Unfortunately for the Coast, this is quite possibly the worst group that the team could’ve found themselves in, having to contend with Portugal and Brazil to qualify and even with a fully fit squad, it is not something that is going to be easy.

Portugal has had a pretty good run of form in recent tournaments although if that is going to continue, then they absolutely have to win this match, considering the Brazilians lie in wait and any points dropped here could be enough to see the Ivory Coast go through instead of the Portuguese.

By now, we all know that the man to watch in this side is Ronaldo; without him they wouldn’t be even half the team they are. Expect to see a glowing performance from Ronaldo and if the Portuguese play like they did in the warm up, expect to see plenty of goals (seeing as they’ve scored six times in their last two matches).

Overall, this could be one of the better group opening matches. Both sides have got teams who are capable of showing us some spectacular goals, although for Ivory Coast this does hinge on the fitness of Drogba. Both teams have a bit of a free-flowing nature and hopefully this will come to the foreground pretty quickly, although it is likely that we’ll see both sides playing a little bit tenuously at the start of the game. After all—neither can really afford to lose this match.

Brazil vs North Korea

Unfortunately for the Koreans, the Brazilian second-stringers probably wouldn’t struggle too much to actually win this match. The Brazilian midsection will probably dominate the match and due to the massive gulf in quality, it doesn’t seem very likely that they’ll have any real problems.

The Koreans have pretty much been written off from progressing out of this group and to be perfectly honest they’d be lucky to get a point considering whom they’re up against.

Their side is not exactly of a high standard: most of their team comes from the pretty poor local leagues although a few have managed to scrape into the J league which is a much higher standard.

The Koreans will likely just be trying to avoid a major embarrassment at the hands of Brazil so expect to see a match thoroughly based on damage limitation—and good luck to them because they’re going to need it.

This match was only ever really going to go one way, and anybody, probably even the most patriotic North Koreans, will tell you that Brazil is more than likely going to win this match. The question is more a case of by how many goals. Odds are that Brazil will keep a clean sheet and probably score three or more goals. The Koreans have been full of surprises, nobody actually expected them to qualify, but this is just going to be one challenge too many and no amount of good form could possibly erase the gulf in class and allow the Koreans to get another surprising result.

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Was it a plan conjured by a team from the most secret countries on the planet? Maybe it was just an administrative error. Whatever happened, Kim Myong Won, the North Korea striker, is not likely to take any part in the World Cup.

Kim's problem would fall into the cock-up category, rather than any conspiracy theory.

Not even their supereme leader, Kim Jong Il, could have thought up such a plan to stop one of his players taking part.

The finger is firmly being pointed at the team coach Kim Jong Hun. 

He was the person who named Kim Myong Won, the Amrokgang striker, as a third goalkeeper in the N.Korea 23-man squad.

Fifa was not amused at all. They layed down the law and are not making any exceptions.

“The three players listed as goalkeepers can only play as goalkeepers during the World Cup and cannot play outfield, and Kim Myong Won will not be allowed to play as an outfield player if he has been put on the list as a goalkeeper.”

Kim will not be able to run at the defences of Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast, North Korea's opponents in group G. Nor will he be able to emulate the North Korea team who beat Italy on their way to the quarter-finals in England in 1966, the last time they appeared in the finals.

The only way that Kim can play at this months World Cup is if Ri Myong Guk and Kim Myong Gil, the two genuine goalkeepers, get injured or suspended. However, that will mean he can only play as a goalkeeper, and be trying to save shots from Kaká and Cristiano Ronaldo.

The bad news for Kim is that only 4 out of 371 World Cup qualifiers for the finals, have used their three goalkeepers. So the odds are against him.

It is a huge mistake for the Asian team, and may have thrown any hope of a draw against anyone, out the window.

"North Korea will win the World Cup. It is because of the great support of our Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il that our national team will make this great achievement."

These are the words told by the vice-president of the North Korea FA, Son Kwang-Ho, to reporter Neil Billingham of FourFourTwo magazine.

Billingham did a special feature on North Korea ahead of their first appearance at a World Cup finals in 44 years, and found that "for a state that honours its heroes, there is no media coverage of its latest stars—the national football team."

After all, dictator Kim Jong-Il's favoured propaganda weapon of late is, of course, the nuclear programme, with North Korea claiming to have "successfully tested a nuclear weapon as powerful as the atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima in 1945."

In any case, it immediately leads to the inevitable question. From possibly the most secluded country in the world, is the North Korea FA's statement a war cry from world football's next rising powerhouse, or simply the deluded rant of a state run by propaganda?

Past experiences could actually lead to the answer being the former, as North Korea's last World Cup showing came in England in 1966.

In that tournament, the team from far East Asia made it all the way to the quarter-finals, beating the colossal Italy along the way.

Therefore, having been slightly better this time round and doing better in qualifying, knocking out the likes of Iran and Saudi Arabia, could they actually spring the ultimate surprise to the watching world?

Then again, this is a team who got through to the finals in South Africa by going loco on the Italian favourite of catenaccio .

The Choilima (North Korea's nickname) only conceded five goals in the whole of their qualifying campaign. That said, they only scored 12 times in 14 matches.

And considering the North Koreans have been placed in Group G, i.e. the Group of Death , with Ivory Coast, Portugal, and Brazil, their chances of progressing to the knockout stages could well be minimal, to say the least.

This is a view shared by Waldir Cipriani, vice-president of second division Brazilian team Atletico Sorocaba from Sao Paulo, who played North Korea in a friendly at the 80,000 capacity Kim Il-Sung stadium in Pyongyang.

He reportedly told Dunga, coach of the Brazil national team, that North Korea "will find it hard to even score a goal in South Africa."

North Korea drew 0-0 with Atletico Sorocaba, despite having the sell-out 80,000 home crowd behind them.

Although, the support generated wasn't exactly inspirational, according to Billingham, who stated that "rarely have so many people produced so little noise."

When the players from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (to give the country its full title) take to the pitch in South Africa, it doesn't seem likely that they'll have much support from the stands, which is just one of many factors that'll go against them ahead of this summer's showpiece event.

Star striker and captain of the team Hong Yong-Jo takes a differing view, however.

The forward, who has attracted interest in the past from Tottenham Hotspur and various Bundesliga sides, but has been denied a move by the government who refused to sanction any transfer to a Western club, claims North Korea will shine in South Africa.

"Football in North Korea is getting stronger every year," he said.

"Our youth teams are doing well, our women's team has been very successful, and now we have qualified for the World Cup," claimed Hong. "We will go to South Africa full of confidence and hoping that we can do our nation proud."

It's such optimism from products of the state like Hong Yong-Jo that epitomises the current Pyongyang regime.

As has been well documented, from the beautiful female traffic cops (allegedly hand-picked by Kim Jong-Il) to the propaganda radios fitted in every home that can't be turned off, everything is designed to give the impression that North Korea is a thriving, bouyant, and successful country.

This is the same nation with one of the worst human rights records in the world, and the same nation that hasn't qualified for the World Cup in 44 years until now, with a completely amateur football system and a top-flight consisting of 15 non-professional clubs.

Unlike what the North Koreans say, at the 2010 FIFA World Cup finals, this team could easily receive a thrashing in all three of their matches.

In 2002, when bitter enemies and neighbours South Korea hosted the World Cup, matches weren't broadcast on North Korean TV.

On the morning of South Korea's third-place play-off against Turkey, a North Korean gunboat attacked a South Korean patrol boat, killing 18 people.

Again, it leads to an inevitable question—how will the North Korean government deal with their team's participation at the 2010 FIFA World Cup?

After all, it's not like the players are actually capable of following through with the statements made by the men in suits at the top of the North Korean football hierarchy.

Will it be a glorious victory parade in Pyongyang by the North Korean sporting superstars come mid-July?

Or will Kim Jong-Il again have to fan the flames of his nuclear programme to distract from the inevitable poor performances on the pitch?

Several countries have publicly announced their 30-man preliminary rosters for the 2010 World Cup and the internet is buzzing with debate regarding the inclusions as well as the omissions.

North Korea, however, is one squad that isn’t apt to spark much discussion. Even if they hadn’t drawn into the Group of Death alongside behemoths Brazil, Portugal, and Ivory Coast, their odds of winning the tournament would still be slim to none.

But 23 men will still make the trip to South Africa this summer, and per FIFA regulations, those 23 must come from the preliminary rosters that were due today. Here’s a look at my picks for Chollima’s squad.

GOALKEEPERS

Unless you’re Fabio Capello, goalkeepers are usually the easiest selections to make and this holds true for head coach Kim Jong-Hun as well.

Ri Myong-Guk is the undisputed number one. He played in 15 of North Korea’s 16 qualifying matches, keeping a staggering 10 clean sheets and allowing only 6 goals.

Ju Kwang-Min is the only other keeper to make an appearance during qualifying. Look for him to be Myong-Guk’s backup. Kwang-Min played one half of the opening leg against Mongolia in the first round of AFC qualifying, then tended the net for the entire 90 minutes in the home fixture, but has not featured since.

Although Kim Myong-Gil has not played a competitive match for Chollima since the 2006 World Cup qualifiers, he is the logical choice for the number three spot given his 10 appearances for the national team.  The only other keeper North Korea really has to choose from is Ri Kang, but he has yet to earn his first cap despite several call-ups.

DEFENDERS

North Korea made it to the 2010 World Cup qualifiers thanks to a nearly impenetrable defense that only conceded 7 goals throughout the entire qualifying campaign .

A typical World Cup roster includes the starting 11 and a backup for each of those players along with a third goalkeeper for a total of 23.  Given the defensive-minded 5-3-2 formation Coach Jong-Hun tends to utilize, this means that 10 of North Korea’s 23 roster spots would be occupied by defenders.

On the other hand, a team can only make three substitutions per game, so taking 10 defenders to the World Cup might be a tad excessive. The following eight players were all part of qualifying so it’s a safe bet to say every one of them will be on the plane to South Africa.

Cha Jong-Hyok

Ri Jun-Il

Ri Kwang-Chon

Nam Song-Chol

Pak Nam-Chol

Jon Kwang-Ik

Han Song-Chol

Pak Chol-Jin

MIDFIELDERS

Most teams will take eight midfielders to South Africa, but according to my calculations, North Korea only has room for seven. This should not pose a problem, however, given Coach Jong-Hun’s preferred 5-3-2 formation. In fact, it actually affords him an extra midfielder based on the aforementioned equation of doubling.

Kim Yong-Jun is currently the most-capped player on the squad with 52 and played a vital role in North Korea’s qualifying so he is sure to make the final cut.  He will almost certainly be joined by fellow veterans An Young-Hak, Mun In-Guk, and Ji Yun.  All four players were involved with the 2006 qualifying campaign as well.

If I were Coach Jong-Hun, I would also include Ryang Yong-Gi in my squad. He was the MVP and Golden Boot winner in this year’s AFC Challenge Cup, where North Korea took home top honors. He is also the captain of his club, Vegalta Sendai, in Japan’s first division.

Pak Song-Chol was another player with a breakout performance in the Challenge Cup whose skilled foot in dead ball situations could trouble even the world’s best defenses.

Assuming he takes seven midfielders to South Africa, Coach Jong-Hun will probably choose the final spot from amongst these players, who are all likely to make his 30-man preliminary roster.

Pak Nam-Chol

Yun Yong-Il

Kim Kuk-Jin

Ri Chol Myong

FORWARDS

Hong Yong-Jo (pictured) scored 4 goals and captained the North Koreans during their entire qualifying campaign so he is a shoe in to make the final cut.  He is also the only player on the entire squad who plies his trade in Europe.

Another player who is certain to be on the plane to South Africa is Jong Tae-Se, dubbed the “Asian Wayne Rooney.”  Although he is Yong-Jo's usual striking partner, he will need to up his one goal tally from AFC qualifying if he ever hopes to live up to his namesake.

21-year-old forward Jong Chol-Min tied captain Yong-Ho’s 4 goal haul despite appearing in only two qualifying matches. He also played an important role for Chollima in the 2005 Under-17 and 2007 Under-20 FIFA World Cups so I look for him to make the final cut as well.

That only leaves room on the plane for two more forwards by my estimation and Choe Kum-Chol will likely claim one of those spots. He earned 8 of his 15 caps during qualifying, where he also scored 2 of his 5 career goals for North Korea.

It’s a toss-up who will win the final roster spot from among these forwards, but they should also make Coach Jong-Hun's 30-man roster.

Pak Chol-Min

An Chol-Hyok

Kim Myong-Won

North Korea is headed to the World Cup Finals for only the second time in the country’s history, making their first appearance in the competition since 1966, when they upset Italy to advance to the quarter-finals.

The odds of them progressing beyond the group stage this time around, however, are slim, having been matched up against Brazil, Portugal, and Ivory Coast in what many consider this year’s Group of Death.

SCHEDULE

Brazil: June 15

Portugal: June 21

Ivory Coast: June 25

No one expects North Korea to do much against the caliber of opponents they have had the misfortune of drawing.  This may reduce the pressure to perform and allow them to impress by simply playing quality football, although that may be easier said than done.

Their opening fixture is as tough as they come.  The odds are always against you when your opponent is Brazil, the most successful nation in history with a record 5 championships.  Currently ranked #1 by FIFA, they are also the only country on earth to have competed in all 18 World Cups. 

From there, the North Koreans must travel over 1400 kilometers to face Portugal, who finished 4th in the 2006 competition, and will only go half that distance to get to Cape Town.  Just four days later, they are scheduled to play Ivory Coast in Nelspruit, almost 1800 kilometers from Cape Town, and over 1740 meters above sea level, where altitude is likely to be a factor.  Conversely, their opponents will travel less than a quarter of that distance and have the added benefit of already being acclimated from their second match.

KEY PLAYERS

Russian-based forward Hong Yong-Jo, the team’s captain, is the only member of the squad who plays professionally in Europe, and he will have to repeat the form that saw him score 4 goals during AFC qualifying if his side hopes to compete in South Africa.  He is joined up top by Jong Tae-Se, an explosive threat with a fierce shot and the strength to brush off opposing defenders, inspiring the media to dub him the “Asian Wayne Rooney.”

Head coach Kim Jong-Hun’s bench includes striker Jong Chol-Min, who also scored 4 goals during qualifying, and midfielder Pak Song-Chol, whose deft foot could prove valuable on set-pieces.

Goalkeeper Ri Myong-Guk is the linchpin of the North Korean defense.  He was the man between the sticks in all but one of their qualifying matches, keeping an astounding 10 clean sheets in 15 appearances.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

North Korea’s strength is a stingy defense that allowed only 7 goals throughout their entire qualifying campaign, but then again, they weren’t facing offenses featuring FIFA’s World Player of the Year for 2007 (Kaká, Brazil), 2008, and runner-up 2009, Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal), or Ivory Coast’s all-time top scorer, Didier Drogba.

They emerged from the third round of qualifying unbeaten and without conceding a single goal, yet still finished second in Group 3 behind South Korea based on goal differential, which may demonstrate a lack of attacking options.

North Korea’s biggest obstacle, however (other than the Group of Death itself), is their lack of international experience, with the mainstay of their squad plying their trade domestically, but this could also work in their favor since opponents will not be used to their style of play.

IT WOULD BE A GREAT WORLD CUP IF

They make it to the round of 16.  It’s always nice to see a dark horse pull off an amazing upset, and in an interesting twist of fate, Portugal was the team responsible for eliminating them from the tournament 44 years ago, winning 5-3 despite trailing North Korea 3-0 after twenty-five minutes.

IT WOULD BE A DISASTER IF

We see a violent repeat of their World Cup qualifier with Iran from 2005 in which the North Koreans rushed Syrian referee Mohamed Kousa following his failure to award a controversial penalty.  Kousa responded by sending off one of their players, enraging fans who reacted by throwing bottles, stones, and chairs onto the field then refused to let the Iranian team leave the stadium after the match, forcing riot police to intervene.

MY PREDICTION

North Korea takes its nickname from a mythical horse—the Chollima—that legend says was too swift to be mounted.  Group G will ultimately prove to be a Chollima for Chollima given a scenario that is already going to see either Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo, or Didier Drogba watching the Round of 16 from home.

My prediction?  Three straight losses, which people in North Korea will not even get to see since Dictator Kim Jong-il has banned the broadcast of all live matches from state-run television.

Welcome to North Korea! North Korea is the ultimate minnow team, but that does not mean they won't fight for victory.

Population: 23,906,000
FIFA ranking: 84
Home stadium: Kim il-Sung Stadium (50,000)

Odds: 90:1 to make it out of group, 450:1 to win

World Cup appearances: 1966 (quarter-finals)

Of the North Korean squad, only one player has any experience for a European team. Most of their players play in the PRK (that's People's Republic of Korea for you imperialist dogs) football league, while a few play in Japan.

A story of the North Korea World Cup would not be complete without a retelling of the 1966 World Cup, their biggest achievement in football.

The 1966 World Cup

Qualifying

No African or Asian countries qualified for the previous 1958 or 1962 World Cups, so FIFA created a combined CAF (Africa) and AFC (Asia) zone playoff for '66. Eighteen CAF and AFC countries met in their own tournament for precisely one World Cup spot. The African nations thought this was unfair, since they would have to both win their zone and beat an Asian team to qualify for the World Cup. All of the CAF teams withdrew in protest.

This left three nations to play for one qualifying spot: the three AFC sides North Korea, South Korea, and Australia. The group's matches were to be played in Cambodia which made South Korea withdraw in protest (Protesting seemed to be popular in the '60s) leaving only North Korea and Australia. They played two matches. North Korea won both of them (6-1, 3-1) and qualified for the '66 World Cup.

According to Ring Jung-sun, a defender on the 1966 team, before they left for England Kim Il-Sung said to the team, "European and South American nations dominate international football. As the representatives of the Africa and Asian region, as colored people, I urge you to win one or two matches."

The Cup

North Korea was placed in Group Four with the Soviet Union, Italy, and Chile, with home matches played at Ayresome Park, home ground of Middlesbrough. In the first match, they lost to the USSR 3-0. They scored an 88th minute equalizer to draw against Chile, and went into the final match against favorites Italy with one point to Italy's two (wins were worth two points at this time).

The North Koreans played fast attacking football, in contrast to the rest of the world's national teams at the time. The Middlesbrough fans, converted into North Korean fans by their fantastic performances, were fully behind them from the minute they stepped onto the pitch. They shocked the world by beating Italy 1-0 on a 57th minute goal, putting them second in their group with three points and qualifying for the quarter-finals.

The quarterfinal game was a brilliant showing from the North Koreans against Portugal, for at least the first half hour anyway. North Korea scored three goals (1', 22', 25') and were dominating before Portuguese superstar Eusébio stepped in and scored four unanswered goals himself (27', 43' (pen), 56', 59' (pen)). A fifth goal from José Augusto (80') ended the North Korean run at the World Cup, 5-3 to Portugal.

Since 1966

North Korea has had a somewhat less spectacular record since then. They did not enter or failed to qualify for every World Cup since. A 2006 World Cup qualification match against Iran held in Pyongyang ended in a riot after angry fans rushed the field and beat a referee who did not give North Korea a penalty kick after a foul.

2010

North Korea qualified for the 2010 World Cup through the AFC qualifiers starting in the first round (beating Mongolia 9-1 aggregate in the first, good enough for a bye to the third round) and remaining undefeated until the fourth round, the second group stage. They placed second in Group B to South Korea (their only loss in the qualifiers) and qualified for the World Cup.

The Squad

A word about the squad. The national squad is known as the International Friendship Tournament played a few weeks ago and the AFC qualifiers, but information on the players and their statistics at their clubs is nigh-impossible to come by. There is usually little to no information about these players out there.

Manager: Kim Jong-hun

Kim Jong-hun has been manager of the North Korean national side since at least 2007. Not much is known about him, but he favors the strong, defensive play which has served him well through the qualification process but a lack of goals going forward may hamper his progress.

Starting XI (based on squad from AFC qualifiers and other recent international matches)

         Jong     Hong




     An       Mun       Pak     




J.Ri   K.Ri   Cha    Pak    Ji




             M. Ri

GK: #1 Myong-Guk Ri, 23, 23 caps, plays for Pyongyang City (PRK)
Allowed six goals in 15 matches during qualification. Also seems to have a penchant for picking up yellow cards.

DF: #3 Jun-Il Ri, 22, 27 caps, 0 goals, plays for Sobaeksu (PRK)

DF: #5 Kwang-Chon Ri, 24, 38 caps, 1 goal, plays for April 25 (PRK)

DF: #2 Jong-Hyok Cha, 24, 27 caps, 0 goals, plays for Amrokgang (PRK)
A skilled defender.

DF: #4 Nam-Chol Pak, 24, 24 caps, 4 goals, plays for April 25 (PRK)
Picks up the occasional Man of the Match award in international tournaments.

DF: #8 Yun-Nam Ji, 25, 31 caps, 7 goals, plays for April 25 (PRK)

MF: #9 Yong-Hak Ahn, 31, 22 caps, 2 goals, plays for Omiya Ardija (JPN)
The skilled midfielder was born in Japan and played in the South Korean league for years before moving to Omiya. He doesn't fall for propaganda from either Korean nation. He loves Oasis and Green Day, and wants to play in the EPL so he can meet Cristiano Ronaldo. Google this guy, his interviews are pretty cool.

MF: #11 In-Guk Mun, 31, 36 caps, 5 goals, plays for April 25 (PRK)
MVP of the East Asian Football Championship qualifiers in 2009. North Korea took fourth place.

MF: #13 Chol-Jin Pak, 24, 31 caps, 0 goals, plays for Amrokgang (PRK)

FW: #12 Tae-Se Jong, 25, 20 caps, 11 goals, plays for Kawasaki Frontale (JPN)

Jong is North Korea's top striker. The pacy player from Pohang picked up the nickname " The People's Rooney" after he defected from South to North. His performance will be vital to the North Korean effort.

FW: (C) #10 Yong-Jo Hong, 28, 38 caps, 11 goals, plays for FC Rostov (RUS)
Hong is the only North Korean player to play in Europe, for a Serbian club and as a sub for FC Rostov in the Russian First Division. He was the captain of the squad during the World Cup qualifiers.

The Group
North Korea is in the Group of Death with Brazil, Portugal, and Ivory Coast.

Expectation: Draw a match for Dear Leader and go home at the end of the group stage.